1. I was weak in mathematics
Needless to say that the turning point in my life after passing matric was not some out of blue love for the ailing humanity but the embarrassment of getting grace marks every time in maths. After all the only mathematics a doctor is supposed to know is basic counting like BP 120/80, pulse is 76 beats per min, respiratory rate is 18 per min and not to forget the number of patients whose transition to the other world he has facilitated
2. Nobody could read my handwriting
My teacher often used to scold me in school” Farooq! I cannot understand a word you have written. What will you do in future” and my conscious called out “Hey go for a medical college”
You all must have heard the old joke about the patient who went to a doctor for flu. After getting the medicines from the chemist he kept the prescription chit with him. He used it as a ticket to travel from Lahore to Karachi on train, twice attended a concert, entered the airport premises using it as a security clearance form, went on sick leave for a month and when he died with the chit in his pocket his neighbour’s dog got half of his wealth because “It says so in the will in his pocket” exclaimed his lawyer.
3. I hate to sleep
I was suffering from insomnia since my childhood and what was better for me than to join a medical college where you have to study late nights if you want to “become a good doctor”. And once I became a doctor then there were the restless nights and long duties for 36 hours at a stretch when my fellow bankers, engineers, chartered accountants and Faujis were having a good night sleep without the fear of being awaken by a patient who has this strange itch under the nail of his left big toe right in the middle of the night and wants to “see the doctor right away”
4. I couldn’t live without tension
Did I mention that “Stress” is my middle name?....and that it is very difficult to see 100-120 patients from different backgrounds and different diseases daily and still be having that million dollar smile on your face at the end of the day…. and that doctors have the highest divorce rate in United states …and on top of that how it feels when after 24 hours duty you sit down to have a cup of tea or catch a nap for an hour and people start exclaiming “ Dukhi Insaniat tarap rahee thee …. Aur Docotr aaram kar raha thaa” ….Ok! Still not convinced … I would suggest reading Eric Segal’s “DOCTORS”
5. I don’t want to get married before 40
Have you ever read the matrimonial page of the classified section in any news paper in Pakistan? A typical ad would read like this “A 35 years old, educated and very very very qualified (MBBS, MRCP, FRCP, MD. ABC…..XYZ) doctor is looking for a bride” what they fail to mention is that the dear Doctor in his quest to become Very Very Very qualified has lost all his hair, uses glasses number -4.5 and has backache most of the time.
Hey! Now don’t blame the doctor . He went to medical college at 18, became a doctor at 23, spent one year doing his house job, then appeared in Part I examinations and spent next 5 to 7 years becoming a specialist. So when was he supposed to get married in between.
Disclaimer: All views and ideas expressed in this article are nonsense, all characters fictitious and I wonder why you read this post till the end. And in case you are allergic to such posts I would recommend going to the nearest doctor.